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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24256006">Power of the Phoenix</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/swilson456/pseuds/swilson456'>swilson456</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan References, shingeki no kyojin manga spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:06:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24256006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/swilson456/pseuds/swilson456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>*WARNING THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 AND THE MANGA. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. CANON DIVERGENT* </p><p>Sophia Krueger, the adopted daughter of Eren Krueger 'The Owl', has been alive longer than many people are aware. She's been in hiding alongside the Attack Titan, protecting its secrets until now. Where it goes, she goes with it. Even all the way to Paradis Island with Grisha Yeagar.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dina Yeager | Dina Fritz/Grisha Yeager, Eren Kruger/Original Character(s), Erwin Smith/Original Female Character(s), Grisha Yeager/Original Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I removed The Xian Goddess and wanted to upload this instead. I have more motivation to writing this, and hope it's a better hit!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I remember everything that happened from the very start. It clung to the back of my mind like an old memory that I couldn't shake off, or maybe like the dreams that I had every night which seemed so very real. These events that I could remember so vividly plagued my mind every night while I tried to sleep.</p><p>I could remember being a young girl, in the days where it was common to be peasants living off the land and being stuck during wartime. We were slaves for the First King Fritz and one day while we were tending to the pigs, one had escaped. We both chased after the pig into the woods, getting covered in dirt and sweat, and the animal led us to a very large tree. It didn't look like a normal tree with its normal brown bark, and that's what attracted us to it. It was an old pure white tree, and it was as if it called to us subconsciously. The large crack at the trunk beckoned us to come closer and explore the inside.</p><p>I remember the cold depths of the large lake underneath the tree that we fell into and the darkness that crawled over our bodies, slowly seeping into our eyes and made us feel vulnerable and exposed. While my friend was consumed by electricity and the ability to turn into a large being, I was overwhelmed by magic. Magic that I later used to create a warrior family to protect my friend's powers and those of Royal blood. My body felt like it was going to burst with the amount of energy that was flowing into it, and I can vaguely remember the magic that I cultivated to preserve my friend's spirit in the tree that would connect to all her future children.</p><p>I remember using my magic to keep my friend's memories alive, this was passed onto her children who devoured her body. I made sure that I could live on and support her children, who the powers were passed onto, and ensure that they would no longer live a trapped life like she did. I remember witnessing her powers being split into Nine different abilities and given to the most Noble families that she trusted.</p><p>Nine is such a powerful number, not just to Ymir but also to myself. As the Power of the Phoenix, I've reincarnated myself eight times to aid her people, but they still fought for blood. I just hoped now, in my ninth reincarnation, that I could stop this bloodshed from being spread around the world.</p><p>"SOPHIA KRUEGER!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>YEAR 817</strong> - Liberio, Marleyan Zone</p><p>My eyes snapped open from the short nap I took and I narrowed my gaze towards the source of sound that disrupted me.</p><p>I was laying on a flat patch of green grass, close to the embankment, watching the clouds float and spot the occasional blimp flying in and out of Liberio. It was the serenity that caused me to nap in the first place. No matter how much hustle and bustle lived around me in the matching houses, industrial buildings and clattering machinery, there were too little spaces I could truly enjoy to myself. I sat up lazily and started to brush the grass from my long white skirt, picking out the odd leaf or two from my black hair, when I glanced around the area, spotting my Father doing his duty and kicking a random child in the stomach.</p><p>I could only stop and flinch what he had done to a boy around 9 years of age. I'm only a 12 year old girl now, but I know my past. I know how cruel the world could be and how important my Father had to keep up certain appearances. My father, Eren Krueger, is a Public Safety Officer for the Marleyan people but is also an informant for the Eldian Restorationists. I experienced harsh abuse as a child at the hands of a Marleyan Officer and I brutally tortured him before I ended his life. No one would have suspected a child to do something that gruesome. I found Krueger himself one day and I told him everything. As I was aware of his plans, Krueger officially adopted me to ensure both our goals were met. As he was next in line to become a Titan Shifter, he knew the secrets of the Phoenix and entrusted me to help him with his goal.</p><p>The young boy wore a white band around his right arm and I could only shake my head in disbelief. He crossed over the Wall into the Marleyan Zone, no wonder Father punished him. I saw a very young girl with the boy and watched as Officer Gross led the girl away. I knew then, as my stomach dropped and I was close to releasing the contents, that the young girl would be tortured and killed as a result of her brother's actions. I knew what my Father would be forced to do to the boy if he truly followed orders by the Marleyan soldiers, but I also knew him.</p><p>I could only watch as I saw another Officer walk towards me after calling my name, and Father himself snapped his head up to question why his daughter was here in the first place. His dark gaze bore into the back of my head and I could only lower my head, knowing the harsh reprimand I would receive later.</p><p>Officer Manson placed his hand on my shoulder and I quickly jumped to my feet, before he pushed me away from the scene. He was too busy talking about work and warships for my care, it was like he loved the sound of his own voice. I cared nothing for who my Father worked for and what he had to do, and maybe that in turn, was how he was comfortable enough to claim me as his child.</p><p>
  <em>'It was all just an act, Sophia'</em>
</p><p>Officer Alexander Manson was only a young soldier, a fresh eighteen year old man with short, blonde hair and blue eyes. His jaw was sharp and his face was very clean shaven, compared to his colleagues who supported beards and moustaches. He stood a head taller than myself and his smile was very intoxicating. I was always reminded how many women looked up to him and his constant nagging of the crazy women he would see on the streets. It was no secret that he was interested in me and wanted to marry me. He might have been one of the youngest soldiers but his name carries a lot of influence, being a son of a higher up Officer, and that was why I knew him so well.</p><p>Alex walked me along the river and we spoke quietly amongst ourselves, the talk of education and my future plans always came up every time we spoke. I wasn't particularly interested in being a trophy wife but also my Father refused to get me involved in the military. I only had to keep up pretences in public, until I was alone with those I could clearly trust.</p><p>At home, when Father was in a particularly good mood, he taught me a few hand to hand techniques, and in turn I told him stories of the first time Ymir and I discovered our powers. However when Alex had a spare moment from duty, Father would teach me more about charming men and how to be a woman in disguise. If anything, I could sense that Father was pushing me to be a good wife for Alex. It would look so perfect to other Marleyans. It would have been perfect if I was destined to live a normal life, but I'm not.</p><p>I turned to Alex and lowered my eyes, feeling a pang of sympathy, "Say Officer Manson, do you know the reason why those kids were trespassing? And why did my Father have to be so cruel towards them? They're just children, they don't know any better!".</p><p>Alex sighed loudly and paused in his walk, looking around us warily before speaking quietly, "You know yourself Sophia. The Eldians are spawn of Devils," <em>'What utter bollocks he's uttering. If only you knew the truth...</em>' "They don't deserve to do human things. They're not even human. Apparently the kids were too interested in following the blimp. How pathetic!"</p><p>I shook my head in disbelief at his hard words, "Alex, you know me and my opinions. While they may not be human, but if we treated them like actual humans, then maybe we wouldn't be in this shitty situation, we could have achieved peace. Does everything in this world have to revolve around Eldians? 'Eldian this, Eldian that', no one actually knows what really happened back then and so much bloodshed has really changed the world. Sweet Sina, they're just children! They're being punished for simply being different."</p><p>Alex flinched and averted his gaze, lowering his eyes in shame at my words.</p><p>I sighed loudly, "Look Alex I understand. I know that there are two sides to war. Father would kill me if he heard what I said, could you perhaps just keep this between us?"</p><p>I knew that there was only one way to shut him up so I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. His lips were soft and he leaned closer to me, his hands touching my hips as he kissed me deeply with passion.</p><p>I broke off the kiss, walking back home in awkward silence as Alex followed behind, he was keeping a little distance between us. I followed the familiar road and spun on the spot, startling Alex and giving him a kiss on the cheek. He was too speechless to say anything so I sent him a wink as I walked to the door and then closed it.</p><hr/><p>I sighed loudly and realised the cost of my actions. Hopefully as the daughter of an Officer my words could be swept under the rug and more attention would be noticed that I kissed an Officer on the cheek. That would surely spread gossip around and provide a little distraction from the war talk.</p><p>I turned to walk towards the stove but pause at my reflection in the mirror. My long black hair was still a bit disheveled from earlier and my clothes were a little crumpled but I couldn't see much of a difference. I was slim built but I was still growing. My body would stop growing by the time I turn 21 and I would have to use some magic to make sure that I age slowly otherwise people would start getting suspicious.</p><p>Not many people would have known it but it was my black hair and grey eyes were the main features that passed down through my warrior clan. I paused briefly, thinking about the Islanders, before I shifted to make a cup of coffee.</p><hr/><p>In the next five years, I was starting to get a little anxious.</p><p>I watched some of my plans slowly come together, and yet I was still eager for all plans to bear fruit. I watched the procession of Krueger obtaining the Attack Titan and telling him how plans may change now. He was busy trying to recruit more people into joining the Eldian Restorationists and I knew that the power of his words would make more people follow him.</p><p>My father was still busy spreading the information to both parties and I could see how different he was becoming, changing his personality from the man I knew he once was. I was very well aware that his mind is now being altered after being under the influence of previous holders and seeing their own memories.</p><p>While I wish I did do it,I didn't marry Alex. I couldn't accept marrying someone not for love, as I didn't love him back. I teased him endlessly about his new girlfriend and then we grew out of our friendship as he began his new married life with Rose. You would think after nearly existing for many centuries that I would find love, but instead I was too busy making sure that history was running smoothly. My old heart was eager to find love but I was too certain that if someone knew the whole truth about me, then I wouldn't deserve to be loved.</p><p>Father had me going into the internment zones and watching the Eldian people go about with their lives, especially with Grisha Yeagar who he wanted to recruit into the Restorationists. I figured, after discovering the truth about his sister, would give him the drive to snuff out any Marleyan soldier. I was also trying to discover if he would be a good candidate for the future holder of the Attack Titan.</p><p>When I heard that Dina Fritz joined the Eldians I was not surprised to discover that her family had been in hiding. With the name being Fritz for starters, they would be associated with their ancestors who fled Eldia to Paradi and be punished for their sins. They were the only Fritz family members left on the continent.</p><p>I rejoiced when I heard the news about Grisha marrying Dina, and then later having their first child Zeke. I was happy knowing that people could still fall in love despite the current political climate, although I was soon horrified to discover that it was just a plan to control Dina's blood and use the child as a weapon. If Grisha wanted his child to become a Warrior and be respected by Marleyans, then he would be a laughing stock. Warriors only have some shred of respect for being war soldiers, not for anything else.</p><p>Although somewhere through the grapevine from the Restorationists, my name was mentioned about tutoring children and my father eagerly pushed me to teach young Zeke about Marley.</p><p>While several plans were devised from the Marleyans to infiltrate Paradis Island, I was only one person who showed just as much enthusiasm about being within those Walls and seeing what truly happened to those people. Having lived on the continent for nearly two millennia, I was interested to see how humanity managed in these Walls. There was a plan created by the Eldians where they were going to infiltrate Paradis Island and retrieve the Founding Titan. It was their only hope to gain the respect from the rest of the world and become a strong nation once again.</p><p>I wanted to go to Paradis Island because I wanted to see the proof for myself if there were any living Ackermans or Shogun clans left. Both Marleyans and Eldians were too busy interested in warfare but I was curious if I could reunite all the Titan powers together.</p><p>I wanted to spring into action and unleash my powers but I was slowly biding my time until it was ready.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ahhh I'm so happy seeing that there are people already loving this idea. Thanks to all who've hit the kudos button and to my first commenter as well!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Chapter 2</span>
</p><p>
  <b>YEAR 832</b>
  
</p><p>
  <span>After so many years it was time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I waited so eagerly from the sidelines as I watched Zeke turn in his own parents to gain the trust of the Marleyan people. The little shit was only 7 and he didn't want to be a puppet for his parents, but now he'll become a puppet for Marley. I wanted to feel sympathy for the kid, knowing that the brainwashing his parents were doing pushed him towards the enemy, but a part of me felt gleeful because things were finally starting to move into motion!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stood outside of the building as Grisha was being tortured by Officer Gross, interrogated at the same time to learn anything about their informant, 'The Owl' and their plans for going against Marley. Marley was already aware of them using their son as a double spy if they had enrolled him into the Warrior Unit. Fingers were cut off and I could hardly keep listening to his screams while my stomach rolled about and I was close to emptying its contents. But I knew that justice would be served and he was just a pawn in the grand scheme of things. I knew the Marleyans would get a kick out of punishing the Eldians like this, but I also knew that this wasn't their proper punishment. They were going to be sent to Paradis Island and later turned into Pure Titans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those events occurred within a day and I had to stop myself from jumping with excitement. I vaguely remember Father smuggling me into the steamboat that they took. I hid in a container whilst they were busy grumbling amongst themselves. I had to survive being quiet for a few hours on a boat with my Father and Officer Gross. Gross was enjoying listening to his own voice as he talked about the new Warrior programme young Eldian children were signing up for. I can imagine that Zeke would still be signing up for that and showing Marley what he was capable of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once I felt the steamboat moor up close to land, I had to pause and take a quiet breath before things were going to become more serious. I knew I had to act </span>
  <em>
    <span>quickly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. When the men left this vessel and went to the other boat which had the other soldiers and prisoners, I opened up my container and breathed in the fresh air. A quick glance around the boat showed that there was very little room and I was hiding in a steel trunk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My nose scrunched up at the fresh smell, and then I suddenly realised how we were sitting on the dock overlooking the large ocean. I paused as I heard voices and commotion, watching quietly from the side as soldiers escorted prisoners to the very top of the large Wall, lining them up one by one. It looked like Krueger was pinning down the prisoners and Gross was injecting them. One by one prisoners were pushed over the Wall and I saw that familiar orange flash of thunderbolts. I could see the line of prisoners getting smaller and one being escorted with a bag over their head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the bag was removed, I knew that the time was close for me to move before Krueger acted impulsively. I leaned forwards and jabbed the first guard in the throat, rendering him unconscious. I hid behind a large crate and heard the faint commotion of guards. I nicked the gun from the guard and studied it, before peering towards the top of the Wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only Krueger and Grisha atop that Wall and it was now it was my time to join the party! Jumping from my spot, I cocked the gun, taking off the safety clip, and shot it at every moving guard within my sight. I aimed for the head, chest, groin and shoulder. I threw away the gun once numbers were low and screamed, raising my hands towards them and watched the living people scream in terror before their bodies exploded in a shower of blood and guts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My actions caught the attention of Krueger and he nodded, his small knife inflicting a small incision on his hand. The orange lighting bolts surrounded Krueger and he jumped towards the ocean, becoming the Attack Titan that he was destined to become. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ran from the docks and up the stairs to spot Grisha kneeling in disbelief at the current display. I used the knife Krueger left laying to cut up Grisha's bindings and could only lower my head when I saw his hands were fingerless. We watched Krueger in his Titan form destroy and obliterate all the steamboats docked up, crush any remaining humans that were still alive, and create a massive mess of debris and dead bodies. I sighed and shook my head in dismay, standing up from the spot and faced the scene right in front of me. While the body of the Attack Titan was decaying, I thrusted my hands forward and willed for the debris and bodies to disappear. I felt a slight prickle of pain in my body and I opened my eyes quickly, noting how everything had gone. I leaned my head back and cursed slightly, realising that my nose was bleeding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Krueger too was suffering from a nose bleed by the time he got back to the top of the Wall and I handed him a spare handkerchief. Krueger introduced himself to Grisha and explained who he was and why he only left Yeagar alive. I stood close studying Krueger and watched him break down, confessing all of his crimes and his horrible actions he's done against his own people, telling himself that he only did it to serve Eldia in the end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, gaining both their attention and then explained why I was here, "Look Grisha, you'll learn it better when you inherit the Attack Titan and see through their memories, but I've lived for nearly two thousand years in hiding from Eldians and Marleyans along with the Attack Titan. The Attack Titan symbolizes freedom and the free will Ymir had left inside of her before she succumbed to her fate. I made an oath to the first clan member that inherited the Attack Titan because we wanted to hide in secret. I would only be revealed to Eldians and Marleyans if the Attack Titan holder reveals themself to them first. All the other Shifters are aware of this threat, because they know that I went into hiding with the Attack Titan, and when I come out of hiding, they know I will bring a worse fate than those Colossal Titans trampling the Earth. I've been alive since the very beginning Yeagar and after so much unnecessary bloodshed, I'm putting an end to this which is the main reason I am here today". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat down on the Wall and faced Grisha, waving my hands over his wounds and watched as his face change various emotions over his fingers growing back, "I've been reincarnated several times and after hiding during so many wars in my last forms, I've decided that I cannot be a coward any longer and that it's now time for me to fight against the other Titan Shifters. I'm the only person alive that really knows the real deal with Ymir and her Powers."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned to Krueger and placed my hand over his, "I know what you have to do Eren. I've known you for a long time, I've lived with you for nearly 20 years and I've seen how much you've changed. But the Attack Titan is a symbol of freedom and we both knew that one day we would have to decide on your successor. You've been a very supportive father figure and we've learned so much from each other. We might see each other in the Paths but I'm not so sure. I'd like to hope we'll see each other again". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I glanced towards the ocean and smiled, "To think I've been stuck on that continent for nearly 1,700 years. I've always wanted to see the nation of Hizuru and experience their way of living. Of course, any life would be better than living as an Eldian".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I faced Krueger again, and pulled him into a tight hug, "I will miss you Eren Krueger. You have done Eldia and Lady Ymir proud. Remember that". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In that moment, I walked down the stairs and watched the ocean while the sounds of screams, flashing and bones crunching echoed across the silent scene. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I glanced back up towards the Wall and noticed Grisha Yeagar was back to his human form although he was very naked, and there were no clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had to close my eyes and envisage normal townsfolk clothes, willing them into existence. I opened my eyes and saw a stack of clothes sitting right in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pointed to the clothes and turned my back on him, giving him some privacy to at least put some clothes on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it was time for me to explain more about this plan. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>After walking for a few hours along the barren land in silence, I noted it was scarce of Titans and I had a faint feeling they were avoiding me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a forest nearby and we paused for a break, catching water from a small stream to drink and picking some berries. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grisha took a seat on a tree stump and I sat on the other side with my back to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nibbled on a berry while I explained myself, "Grisha, in all my years of protecting the Attack Titan, I've always posed as a family member in order to be close to the Shifter. The other reason for doing this is because I never grew up with a family and missed out on a lot. I was orphaned and became a slave when I was a child." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, realising I had more to explain, "I hide with the Attack Titan because the other Shifters are dangerous. Marley has control of the other Shifters and I'm constantly keeping an eye out on the Attack Titan. It's only if the Power of the Attack Titan is used unnecessarily in front of other Titan Shifters, that's when I 'awaken' to my true self. I'm limited with what I can do right now". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grisha nodded and I could hear a faint hum of approval, "I understand your need of caution especially when there are more powerful opponents in play such as the Tybur family and the Beast Titan. I just can't believe my own son sold me and his mother out". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I smirked and I could sense that Grisha was glaring at me, "Look Grisha, while you may hate Zeke for what he's done, you can't deny his self-preservation. Children sometimes have a better grasp of things that adults cannot fathom. Also put it this way, while he may have sold you out, think how it looks to Marley. Marley now has been ridden of the Restorationists and Zeke will look good in their eyes. He's essentially double crossed you both. I wouldn't be surprised if he inherits a Titan Shifter at this rate, I did see him being quite familiar with Ksaver and I'm aware that he has the Beast Titan". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was still daylight, probably around midday, and so I wanted to make most of our break before we reached this civilisation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I noticed some loose sticks laying about and I firmly grasped one in my hand, drawing some circles into the mud, "I don't really know much about this little settlement but I know that these Walls were built to keep Titans out. These Walls will crumble and disappear when the Founding Titan is used. Our main objective within these Walls is to locate the Founding Titan. I would imagine that after the impassive threat, the 145th King was also fed up with the bloodshed, so to have the Fritz family continue on as the royal family would be a little suspicious. I'd imagine instead that they would be the fake family would be posed as royalty and the true family would be hiding. We would have to find them. Do you have any advice that would be helpful?".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grisha scratched his ear with a finger and looked thoughtful, "I suppose that with the two of us, it would appear to be somewhat suspicious that there are two of us being around Titans. Could we feign amnesia though?".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hummed and rested my chin on my hand, "We can feign amnesia and only remember certain things, such as our names and being siblings. If I could locate a Titan, we could also fake some trouble, running and being in shock at Titans eating our family. That is another idea to consider". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grisha nodded in approval, and soon we had it all planned out. The only trouble was finding a Titan!</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry if there's a little bit of waffle in this, just wanted to full explain things before we get the show on the road. <br/>Our beloved Instructor Shadis will appear in the next chapter. My mind always screams the Abridged version of his speech!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Life happened, and work has been much busier now.<br/>I'm writing up another chapter which I'm hoping to bring out as a birthday present to you all tomorrow so fingers crossed!<br/>This chapter has been influenced by Chapter 71 of the manga - Bystander</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>For some reason there were no Titans lurking about and I felt apprehensive, although I did feel a little troubled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I figured that Titans would be lured towards humans and with Grisha and myself being in such a vulnerable state, they would have immediately taken advantage of that. There would be no way for Grisha and myself to outrun a Titan while on foot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was really hoping that we would find something or someone, but maybe our plans don't have to involve Titans? What if we just used the foliage and branches here to inflict pain, in order to deceive the humans within the Walls? My thoughts kept drifting towards humanity, and why there's been no word from this nation yet. They probably still live in the dark, and perhaps they're just living comfortably as they are. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grisha and I had kept on walking north, beginning to sweat from the harsh sun glaring above. We began getting closer to the Walls as they filled the horizon. The Walls were taller than what I imagined it would be and I could see a slight curve to the Walls from where we were standing, then they stretched for miles. I couldn't even see where they had started or finished, it was that massive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I knelt down next to the thick mud laying and started rubbing it over my face, clothes and hair. Grisha looked at me as if I was an animal and I shrugged my shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gotta think of first appearances, Yaegar, remember that". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grisha looked a little troubled before he too knelt down and covered himself in dirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pointed to the curve and smiled, "I suppose with that curve, there lives a civilisation inside. I didn't exactly pay attention to the Pure Titans earlier but if they went north, then it brings them closer to humans. They are always attracted to humans, especially if there is a large crowd of them". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We stayed where we were for another day or two, I could tell by the movement of the sun as it was dipping closer to the horizon on our third day that we made no progress at all. Grisha kept fidgeting and looked nervous, while I sat and kept coming up with passable background stories. We needed to make sure it sounded convincing, but Grisha kept shutting down each of my ideas, insisting that they weren't believable and was of the idea I was putting too much thought into this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was so close to punching Grisha in the face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lack of self-preservation and rash prompts were starting to irritate me. Then adding with his hot-headedness and stubborn ass, he really was starting to push my buttons and add fuel to a smoking hot fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For some time I had been tuning out his dull tones, but I drifted back to the conversation at hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... I don't see why we have to make up such a wild plan or an elaborate background story. Instead, you can just use your powers to manipulate those devils! We can't trust them at all, especially with having the Founding Titan. We'll just integrate into their society, steal the Founding Titan for ourselves and prolong the crushing! You're honestly being paranoid over nothing, Sophia" </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Paranoid, huh?</span>
  </em>
  <span>', I thought to myself as I raised an eyebrow in his direction. I sighed loudly, pacing in a circle several times with my fingers clenching into fists, before I paused in front of Grisha. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Count to ten for me Yeagar", I ordered him to and he frowned at me before counting numbers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once I heard the number 8, my fist flew towards his face, breaking his nose in the process. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Crunch'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He winced in pain, clutching his broken nose and we both watched the steam appearing from his nose, evaporating all the blood and completely healing his recent wound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pointed to his nose and scoffed, "You think you can get away with that in the Walls and not raise suspicion, Yeagar? The people within the Walls would have to be brain dead to not raise any questions about your healing ability"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I took a deep breath, calming myself down, before I found myself in another verbal rant, "That, Grisha, is why I'm taking precautions. I'm not being paranoid, Grisha, I'm being somewhat sensible. We can't just go into these Walls without having a brain ourselves. I thought you understood it when I first told you, but it clearly hasn't sunk into your fucking thick skull. We know little about the ongoings within these Walls and it's why I'm trying my hardest to come up with such a convincing story, making it believable as possible. Sweet Maria, Grisha, we have literally no idea what these people are like in the Walls. We have no idea if they have some sort of military or not." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence grew between us. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>After a while of sitting in silence, Grisha stood up, shaking his head as if he was talking to himself, and walked away. I didn't particularly want to follow him, if he was like needing to urinate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I waited for a few minutes and some part of myself felt as though I was on edge. I suddenly felt goosebumps crawling on my arms, as if I was being watched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn't hear anything from Grisha and that was starting to worry me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked in the direction where Grisha had gone and I stumbled over a tree root, landing face first in the mud. I winced, my muddy hands pushing myself up from the ground and I lifted my head to notice two other men were here. My sudden appearance was alerted to by the other men. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could sense that both men wielded authority by the way they sat on their horses and their firm gazes on us. With a quick glance, I could see they were wearing some sort of brown uniform with a green cape covering their shoulders. I was trying to make out what it was, but it appeared to be some sort of insignia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two men didn't look related. One of the men, with a head full of dark hair and a firm gaze, was glancing at us warily. But the other one made my throat close up. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'No</span>
  </em>
  <span>.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This guy made me feel so uncomfortable looking at him, and it was unnerving to keep staring at him. He looked so identical to Alex, and yet, I had to remember this guy has blue eyes. His blue eyes were curiously inspecting me and I felt a little shaken. I stood up and plucked a stray leaf from my hair, which attracted the attention of all three men. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't know who we are?", the darker haired guy questioned us and both Grisha and I shook our heads. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I burst into tears, as if playing a character role and Grisha suddenly wrapped his arms around me, "Titans ate our family. We're the only ones left. What are you doing outside the Walls? You're not fighting are you?".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both men shared a look and the blonde man spoke, "You can tell can't you. Survey Corps?".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sniffed and the arms wrapped tighter around me.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Good boy Grisha, keep playing along!</span>
  </em>
  <span>'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The darker haired guy spoke again, "In any case, get on the horses. We'll talk in the Walls".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shared a look with Grisha and blondie helped me onto his horse. I wrapped my arms around him and kept watching Grisha as we rode towards the Walls. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Phase One, Part Two accomplished. Now Part Three!' </span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Grisha? Grisha!", I screamed after him when we were thrown into two different holding cells. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I thought our plan had worked and I slapped the metal bar in protest. The soldiers were watching me with interest and kept reminding us that we shouldn't have been in Titan territory in the first place. How could we have known anything if we didn't belong in these Walls? How could we actually tell them the truth when they would just kill us?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel tears forming up in my eyes and figured I might try the crocodile tears again, "But we didn't know anything! We were following our parents. We saw Titans eat our parents and we couldn't do anything! We ran! We ran until we couldn't anymore. My brother, he has amnesia, he doesn't even know who he is. But he's a medic. I used to hunt and fight, I caught a boar to feed my family." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the soldiers stopped, scratched his head, and leaned towards Grisha, "Perhaps you both are victims of drink and don't even know who you are. Perhaps you've already been captured by the Military Police and escaped their antics." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and glanced to Grisha, "You, Grisha, are okay to leave. We'll let this punishment slide for once as long as you Shadis make sure he knows the severity of his punishment." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keys jangled against metal and I watched as Shadis opened up the cell, escorting Grisha away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could only look at him in desperation as he walked away. Another man walked into the room and I recognised him as the blonde man from earlier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for my request, Hannes. May I have a few moments alone with this young lady?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hannes, the soldier, nodded and shifted out of the room, leaving me alone with blondie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sure we have a lot to talk about, it's going to take a while"</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>"Let's start with your name", he demanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sophia Yaegar", I responded automatically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That isn't a name in our records. No records indicate of any Yaegar family living in these Walls. Are you certain it is your name?", he spoke as he flicked through papers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm certain. It was the name my parents gave me", I said with confidence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where are your parents? Were they really killed by Titans?", he asked warily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My eyesight felt blurry and I could only shake my head in disbelief. Maybe I could associate with amnesia as well. Maybe I can't fake it now. Perhaps I've spoken too much and that's why he's here questioning me. Questioning everything. Shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt my body shiver and shake from the coldness, and I didn't know how I could still manage to go along with the mission if I didn't have Grisha by my side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sob broke the silence and I kept my head lowered, "I don't even know anymore. I can't even remember what my parents said. I barely remember them. I just remember the blood splattered on the ground and a Titan swallowing my Dad".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blondie sighed and I lifted my head, watching him scoff in disbelief, "I don't know if your made up story would be bought by the Council, or maybe the two of you escaped from the Military Police. Whatever your story is, I hope that one day, you can put your trust in me and tell me, just as I am putting my trust in you today and releasing you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I bowed my head in respect as I watched him lean forward and unlock the holding cell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My stomach rumbled and he chuckled to himself, "I suppose you'll need something to eat, but you will need to wash up. Stay there".</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>I was handed some fresh clothes and a bucket of water which I thanked profusely. I cupped the water in my hands and splashed it over my face, getting rid of the dry muck that was stuck on my skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde haired man was standing to the side, keeping an eye on me but also trying not to be a pervert about watching me undress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I made sure I was clean enough and dry to pull on the undergarments. I thought that they didn't look much different to what was given to the Eldians in the Internment Zone. I dressed in the clothes that were given to me and then dunked my head in the water, getting rid of the chunks of mud stuck in my hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wrung out the water and let my hair sit on my shoulders, drying naturally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blondie gave me a once over and nodded to himself. He walked away and I followed him into the streets, watching the people around step away from him and mumble between them. Words like 'death', 'taxes' and 'Titans' were mentioned but I had no idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My stomach was empty and that's where he was taking me, to an inn right?!</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Update</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey guys! </p>
<p>I really wanna apologise for not updating in so long, life has been so manic here and I'm happy to have a stroke of inspiration after watching Season 4. </p>
<p>I hope everyone has been keeping okay and well, I've seen some people still leaving hits on this story even though I haven't updated in ages. </p>
<p>I'm going to be starting to write again with a new chapter hopefully uploaded in the next few days! </p>
<p>If anyone has been feeling a little down, my inbox is open and I'm always happy to chat. We're never alone in this world!</p>
<p>Peace out</p>
<p>~ Sophie</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm aliiiive! <br/>Quick update from me, over the past year, I've spent a lot of time with work. As a key worker, I've been working so hard to keep myself afloat physically and mentally. I've moved places, and spent more and more time in the rabbit hole of the big sad. Now I'm hoping to come back to writing after watching Season 4 and reading the latest chapters. Lets go!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time seems to be a strange concept for someone who has been reincarnated eight times before. All the things that I remember from previous lives are blurred into memories, into visions that welcome me when I fall asleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time has been the one object of force that has made me delay my awakening for several years. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I wait, I yearn, but yet, as my ninth life is blooming, I hope that I will use my Powers soon or my life will have no meaning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Memories drift in and out, and I can faintly remember the words that cursed me to this life, but yet all I can picture right now is Liberio, and how peaceful things were before I left. I think of my honorary father and Alex. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But they are in my past and I am here in the present, creating a new life and name for myself. I'm scribbling down some thoughts into a journal, of things that I can remember, before taking a big sigh and falling to sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I've grown accustomed to the ever constant darkness enveloping me. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>It's been a few years now since Grisha and I arrived in Shiganshina, and yet, we aren't that farther from scrutiny. Despite our pasts, we've learned to hone our skills and help everyone within these Walls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grisha's past as a medic, along with his father's nagging, continued him on his path as a Doctor and has recently cured the whole town of Shiganshina from an epidemic. I remember hearing that Keith Shadis brought in Carla, and it made me think if Keith had a thing going for her, he  must've been crushed when he found out that she started courting my brother. But as the time passed, I kept observing Keith from afar and he seemed so heartbroken when he watched my brother marry Carla, eventually starting a family of his own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We did agree that if we did come to a roadblock in our search for the Founding Titan, then we should try and live a normal life within these Walls. Little Eren was born not long after and he was too adorable for me not to just stay at home, his bright green eyes held curiosity towards me and all I felt I could do was stand and watch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meanwhile during the past few years for myself, I honed in on my fighting skills and information retrieval from Liberio, and I decided to join the Training Corps which I've recently graduated from. The paths open for me were the Garrison, Military Police and Survey Corps. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took me a while to understand and come to terms deciding which segment to join, especially when I have to make plans about the future of Paradi. If I wanted to procrastinate and do nothing with the rest of my time, then the Garrison would be a best job to have. If I did decide to join the Military Police, I would have the doors open for me to get in closer to the Capital and discover the inner workings of the King. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, I kept debating about it and telling myself that I couldn't become a pawn for a group of people who are blissfully unaware of the ongoings outside the Walls. They would be the first to deny the truth and would try to cover anything up. It would make sense for myself to join them and worm my way into the very core of the Military Police, but I couldn't change anything there if they were consistently covering up deaths for people who came too close to the truth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was my heart that spoke for me. My heart and soul yearned for freedom. Not just for my own freedom, but to give the taste of freedom for everyone within these Walls. They have no idea how close to the ocean they are from Shiganshina, but there was just the constant fear of Titans in the way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So it made sense that the Survey Corps sang to me and my heart. It's why I stayed by the side of the Attack Titan, it's the only Titan Shifter that can truly grant freedom and break the curse on all Eldians. All the other Shifters are pawns of Marley and it's been awfully convenient for myself and the Shifters for the Attack Titan to keep hiding. Just until the moment is right to strike! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not long after I joined the Survey Corps, I faced the paranoia and fear of being different. In the information I provided to the Training Corps, I gave them my name, grown up from a small village close to Wall Maria and then moved to Shiganshina later in life, and that my brother was the renowned doctor Grisha. Only Commander Shadis and Leader Smith knew the entire truth and that was truly a blessing. The less people that knew the better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I rarely spoke about myself and my life towards people in the Survey Corps, and instead, attempted to assist in any way possible. To some, I was a chatty and well-rounded person, always one to provide assist kills and being an incredible team player. I did pass along the idea to Erwin that the only reason Grisha and I survived outside the Walls is because we would travel with less people and once we would spot a Titan, we would change our path. I merely helped with one or two ideas, but it was ultimately Erwin's first draft idea of coming up with the Long Distance Range Formation to ensure more and more people survived. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I think the yearning for freedom rubbed off on my family, especially for young Eren. Anytime I would be asked to look after the kid, he would pester me and ask me to tell him stories about the things I've seen beyond the Walls, but some of that would be too gory for such a young child. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As time passed even longer, my position rose within the Survey Corps to Captain, leading my own team of soldiers. It was at this moment when Shadis stepped down and that moment, Erwin Smith took over. I knew that he would change the world if he could, I could see the gleam in his eyes when he would uncover something new and unexpected. He wants to learn more about the world, and he is hungry for more. Aren't we all?</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>"Captain Jaegar! Commander Smith is looking for you!", Section Leader Hanji Zoe screams as she knocks on the door loudly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It woke me up from my small reverie and I quickly hauled on my uniform, pulling my hair into a ponytail, before briskly walking down the halls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I knocked on the Commander's door and he asked me to sit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah Sophia, thank you for meeting with me so early in the morning. You will join myself and Mike in Wall Sina for a retrieval mission later today. We will depart at 1400 hours so be fully prepared for anything. Do you have any questions?", Erwin spoke as he kept staring and going through his massive stack of papers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I lowered my head and nodded, "Can I ask what sort of mission it is Commander? It must be a serious issue if you request both Mike and myself". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin smiles and glances towards me, "I've always instructed you Sophia to call me Erwin when we are alone". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pauses to look tenderly towards me and places his hand on mine for a brief second before he concentrates back on his paperwork. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But you are correct. I know how much you place your trust in me, and also I in yourself. Apparently Lobov is hoping to pass a bill to the higher uppers to dissolve the Survey Corps. He is hiring a group of notorious thugs from the Underground to kill me and grant them citizenship. I will need your help to detain him. Does that answer it?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I grin, "Of course Erwin, I'm always happy to help!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin is a man who is heavily invested in strategies so he must have several cogs in his brain going on at once, working out his plans for the future. I don't know his plans, but I also don't blindly trust him. I do question him and his legitimacy in some of his plans, but I'm also wary of him as well. He is one of the two people that discovered me outside the Walls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As I stand to the rear with the girl trapped in my arms, it seems like the young man that is being punished by Erwin. Some little shiver ran up my body and it felt like my blood ran cold when my eyes met his. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'He is from the Warrior clan I created many many generations ago. We even share the same features!'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as 'Levi' agrees to Erwin's demands, we haul them into the same carriage and ship them off to HQ. For the while observing the trio, the girl seems like the chattiest and the brown haired guy appears to be a little laid back but it's Levi that has me more intrigued. His skill range with the ODMG is really impressive, and the way he holds the blades is different from the standard teaching. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Flagon is blatantly pissed that these criminals have been assigned to his squad but as my squad and Hanji's work closely together, we do stand back and giggle at his discomfort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes some time to get used to the new recruits, but I can sense they are still a little wary of people. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One particular night, I saw the three of them sitting outside watching the night sky and I felt for them. They've been trapped, living in the Underground their whole lives and they've never once witnessed such a sight before. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The bells ring out in the Shiganshina district as we all sit on horseback, waiting for the gate to open up. This new Expedition with the new recruits was going to be interesting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perched alongside Hanji, I hear her squeal constantly about Titans and their body specifications. It felt weird for me hearing about that, knowing the actual truth behind these Titans. I just hope that Hanji wouldn't be too devastated once she found out the truth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's been a long day and I've been mildly surprised by the assault of the trio against the abnormal Titan, however they wasted too much gas on it and didn't do the traditional kill. Maybe that's why we don't manage to kill as many Titans. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The weather changes as large dark clouds begin to fill up the sky and I'm filled with anxiety about what is about to happen. I believe I remember a term used for the weather reflecting the mood and I sense it's about to go sour. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With the storm brewing and lightning jagging in the sky, the visibility is getting even harder. It's difficult to concentrate on the goal and knowing that Titans could jump out at any time, we would have very little time to prepare anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I had to yank my horse out the way, to escape the clutches of a Titan stretching towards me. With it being on a flat plane, I have to be extremely careful otherwise I could easily die. I pull out my blades and manage to kill a Titan, not before jumping on the horse and riding on further. I soon spot Levi, Erwin and Mike. Apparently Levi killed four Titans and both the Commander and Leader were very impressed with it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However Levi ripped his blade out and poked it at Erwin's neck. I could only stand by and watch, as Erwin reveals he was pulling a bluff against Lobov. Levi looked shocked and looked very close to killing Erwin, but Erwin tried to reason with him, saying that we constantly fight each day because of the Titans and it's because of them that we live within the Walls. Needing to eradicate the Titans is the main thing that's stopping us from finding out any further information. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm just wary however that both Grisha and I are sitting ducks until Marley sends some Warriors our way, to completely change life within these Walls as we know it. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow! What did ya think of that chapter? Hit the kudos button, drop a comment!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So we are here! Officially starting with Season 1! Little scenes here from Season 3 too! <br/>Ahhh I'm so pumped! <br/>Also 600+ hits as well, people are hitting kudos and leaving comments. I seriously thank everyone who is reading this! I'm so happy I wanna cry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Blood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's everywhere. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I don't know how to feel. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I can barely see. I can barely breathe amidst the panicking bodies. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Limbs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bodies. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blood stains the flowers, the new sparks of life are tainted from the blood of the dead. The cries of anguish pierce the wallowing silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The majority of us are all on horseback, trying to ride as quickly as we can back to the Walls. Hell we weren't even out for an hour before we had to retreat and face the shit storm of the townspeople. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was strange today. The first Expedition we had in months and there were very little Titans near the base outside Wall Maria and the ones that we did run into, it took a while to take them down. I managed to recover an arm that belonged to Cadet Moses before he got swallowed whole. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ringing bells break the spell, as we get closer and closer to civilisation, to our home and somewhere safe. While the adrenaline kicks in when we're in the face of danger, it feels like it's slowly wearing off and now, even facing the townspeople, it's just dragging us down even more. It's always the same when we return from Expeditions, the people rant and complain about their taxes paying to the government that go to us are wasted. It's because no one wants to join the Corps as we have the highest mortality rate in the whole Military. We try our best to discover the mystery behind the Titans and why they exist. However, the longer I am here, the more I realise how brainwashed these people really are. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The gates of Wall Maria open and once we're in the safety of Shiganshina, we can breathe a sigh of relief. Commander Shadis looks close to breaking down and I can understand why. His willpower is lacking and he believes it is himself that can't do anything at all. He believes he is not special enough to change things. It's the reason why he unofficially named Erwin as Commander last year before we recruited Ackermann, and now as he has survived this Expedition, will be stepping down and Erwin can officially become the Commander. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I keep my head lowered down as I struggle to face the jeers of the townspeople. These people don't truly understand what it's like out there, outside the Walls. I wish I could be like them and be blissfully unaware of the world around me, but the reason I was born into this world is because I have a purpose. That purpose keeps me alive every day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I sense a spark of curiosity close to me and it breaks me out of my trance. I glance up and notice Erwin looking to the crowd before looking away. My eyes flicker in the same direction and then I shake my head at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My nephew Eren and Mikasa are standing at the back watching the procession. I ponder whether I should break the procession and join my family, or ride on with my comrades. I've been counting the days slowly and now that I know how little days there are left, I don't think I can stand around any longer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I inch closer to Erwin and I can see the disappointment in his eyes. It makes me clam up inside and quietly ride next to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, I quickly dismount my horse, hand the reins to Erwin and run towards the kids. Eren quickly rushes forward and hugs me to death, while Mikasa nods her head to me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Auntie Sophia! Did you fight those Titans again?! Did you win?", he asks very eagerly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mikasa is carrying a large stack of sticks, and Eren's face looks a little red, as he soon feels slightly embarrassed of his questions. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eren, I'm still alive and fighting. There are things that I can and can't tell you, kid, but you have to know that not everyone feels strong and brave in front of the Titans. Sometimes people feel scared and they can't move. There is nothing wrong with valuing your own life over trying to fight the Titans", I calmly speak to him and Eren slumps his shoulders in defeat.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We're all eager to explore more outside these Walls, but the Titans are in the way", I continue on, "If we're able to defeat them all, then we might find out more. But it doesn't help when Titans are big, scary monsters". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I ruffle his head and he groans at me, before smacking my hand away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uncle has been asking about you recently. He's been saying that he wants to catch you before he goes off into the Interior for the medical treatment" Mikasa says quietly and I ponder her words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I give them both a side hug and walk with them back to the house. While I stand and knock on the door before entering, the two of them are quick to just walk in and fill up the basket of sticks. Grisha is sitting at the table and Carla is in the kitchen fixing lunch. They both are relieved to see me back alive. Carla hugs me warmly while Grisha pats my shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grisha has tried in the past previously to act like a sibling, but he recently acts so coldly and it makes me wonder that if he had shown any warmth towards his kids, they wouldn't have turned out the way they are. 'Men who are cold, turn bitter,' I've always thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carla is bustling around in the kitchen and passing over bowls of soup, while Grisha is sitting with paperwork. Eren is busy stuffing his face with bread while Mikasa is silently nibbling on her slice. It feels like a normal day and it's nice to embrace the peacefulness of the situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After Mikasa finishes eating, she says that Eren wants to join the Scouts and the reactions are instant. Eren is furious with Mikasa for telling his secret, and Carla is scared for Eren wanting to risk his life. She even brings my name into conversation, saying how lucky I am to survive each Expedition being outside the Walls. I'm lucky to survive because the Titans ignore me and they don't acknowledge me. That's one part of the truth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other part of the truth is that I know what Titans really are and it's hard killing them when I know and who they were beforehand. Previous friends, colleagues and enemies, all dead at the hands of the Survey Corps. They would be truly shaking inside if they knew that the people within these Walls have different ways of fighting Titans than what they know. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A brief look of understanding passes between Grisha and myself when Eren proclaims he wants to know what is outside the Walls. He doesn't want to be forever trapped and be like cattle, when he can discover what is truly outside these Walls. I can see the cogs turning in Grisha's head and the realisation kicks in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No fucking way. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But I knew it. I knew since I was counting the days that Grisha had to pick a successor. But we both know that the Attack Titan represents freedom and Eren possesses that willpower. I just hoped that when he possesses the Attack Titan that I can truly unlock my potential and utilise my strength. I just don't know what I can do though, I don't know my own strength or my powers. I've never used them before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I step into the little bathroom we have here and pull over a long cloak to hide my uniform. I don't change out of my gear unless it's absolutely necessary, but it could be essential either way. I splash some water over my face and take a moment to truly look at myself in the mirror. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's strange to think that I was officially born into this life in the year 801. I was 16 when I watched Grisha and Freya wander outside the Zone. I turned 21 just as Krueger passed on his power to Grisha. I've spent 13 years within these Walls and it felt like I've hardly aged a day since. Everyone I've met has complimented me on my beauty and have asked when I will marry and have children. Truthfully, I don't even know the question to that myself. It's strange to think that I am roughly the same age as Levi and yet I'm about half a head taller than him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grisha stands up and gathers his belongings together, before loudly departing for his ferry. He says he's officially out doing medical treatments inside the Walls but I have a feeling I know the truth. He knows his time is running out and he is off to find the Reiss family. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I snap out of my reverie and run after Grisha. He gives me a weird look and walks on. I walk up next to him and keep my pace as we both walk towards the ferry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't need your help Sophia, I know what I'm doing", Grisha murmurs and I scoff, shaking my head in disbelief. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If you truly knew what you are doing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>dear brother</span>
  </em>
  <span>, then you would know that you would need me with you unless you want to become dead. They need proof, reason, and if I'm there, I can help you with that."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grisha blinks and turns to face me, before continuing on towards the ferry. I feel that he's understood what I meant and when he boards the ferry, I join him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that moment, if I wasn't spending some last few hours with Grisha, I would've missed something </span>
  <b>very</b>
  <span> important in Shiganshina. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Hours later, Grisha and I find ourselves standing in front of a chapel belonging to the true King. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt pain surge within me while we were riding together towards our destination and I was clutching my head, nearly doubling over. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sophia, what's wrong?!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Grisha, it's happened. Wall Maria has fallen." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Shit!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made us even more eager to execute our plan. We walked closer and closer, opening the door and feeling curious how it seemed to appear so empty. I glanced around and noticed something protruding from the centre, poking at it until it became solid. It was a fake! I lifted the flooring and below appeared to be a staircase. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We followed down the stairs tentatively, with myself walking down first. It seemed to be so bright underneath for some reason and then I gasped in awe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The cavern was completely covered in crystals, almost similar to how the Titan Shifters hardened their skin. It glowed and it made the atmosphere more daunting than ever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over at the far end, a small family huddled together, clutching each other and appeared to be praying. I could see kids standing there, some around 14 and younger, and it made me force down the bile that was slowly rising in my throat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'But they're just kids!'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grisha opened his mouth and started pleading, "I too am an Eldian! I am an Eldian coming from outside these Walls! King of the Walls, please! You must kill the Titans attacking the Walls at once! Before my wife and children are eaten! Before the people within these Walls are eaten!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The silence that followed caused a spark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A <em>literal</em> spark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I had to jump out the way as I saw Grisha grab his knife and slash his hand. As he turned into the Attack Titan, I watched as one of the children turned into a Titan herself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Interesting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She must have the Founding Titan! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!", </span>
  </em>
  <span>the man screamed in fear as he watched the two Titans rumble. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I cleared my throat before yelling back, "WE ARE BOTH ELDIANS FROM OUTSIDE THE WALLS! WARRIORS FROM MARLEY HAVE INVADED AND WILL BE COMING TO LOCATE THE FOUNDING TITAN. YOU CANNOT USE THE POWER YOURSELVES. YOU ARE BOUND BY </span>
  <b>HIS</b>
  <span> WILL!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In that moment, Grisha decapitated the girl and started eating her body. I watched as his eyes shifted from green to purple and I gasped silently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He did it! </span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>In the cool, calming hours of the night, Grisha and I found ourselves heading back into Trost. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Wall Maria fell, the masses of refugees were camped inside the barracks and I poked my head in, letting out a sigh of relief, discovering that both Eren and Mikasa were both alive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I tapped Eren on his shoulder and whispered to him. His eyes flickered open and widened, hugging me tightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I couldn't say anything to him, but I held his hand and walked outside with him. Grisha was standing outside and Shadis appeared, questioning what we were doing. Grisha took Eren's hand out of mine and I had to hold back the tears of what was about to happen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grisha said for us not to follow and so Keith mentioned how Wall Maria fell to two abnormal Titans. One that stood higher than the Walls and broke the first gate into Shiganshina, and then the second was covered with armour and broke Wall Maria. I nodded slowly, just thinking of all the Titans that swarmed the city and the amount of people that lost their lives today to just two brainwashed kids. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A bolt of lightning erupted in the forest and Keith stood in confusion. I instantly ran off in that direction, Keith following behind yelling and questioning what was going on.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When we got to the spot all we could see was Eren curled up, and Grisha's glasses in his hand. There was nothing else here and that made Keith even more confused. I picked up Eren and walked back down to the barracks, with Keith on my toes. I laid Eren down in the spot he was sleeping and noted that the key for the basement was around his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I left him to sleep peacefully, and I knew that things were about to become interesting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm going to miss you Grisha. I'll look after Eren for you. We'll both do you proud!</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm still alive, works been pretty hectic and I'm slowly getting through my updates. <br/>Little bit of fluff in later chapter!<br/>Enjoy~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I struggled to sleep after what just happened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm sure that Keith was curious and was wondering what just happened himself, although I could imagine he would be struggling to pierce the dots all together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small part of me was struggling to accept that Grisha was well and truly gone. To him, he wouldn't have fully known the mourning I felt for him, but I guess this is the first lifetime I have lived to witness the Attack Titan being passed down to three different Eldians. I've only managed at best to live through two. Yet it's also strange that this is the same lifetime I have seen two versions of Henry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Erwin and Alex, Henry was the first man. Doppelganger if you want to call it. He was the first person in my first life besides Ymir who I could really trust and I fell in love with him. I feel like I fall in love with every reincarnation of his but nothing ever goes farther than a kiss. Oddly, I question fate and how she has allowed two of his doppelgangers to exist at the same time. Alex and Erwin, it's hard to differentiate between the two when they're both so very similar. Although I fear that Erwin has gone to lengths that I've only seen once before in Henry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Those who cannot abandon their humanity cannot change anything.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From any close encounters, I've seen that Erwin keeps his cards very close to his chest, and in his mental chess game of his, he always appears to be two steps ahead of everyone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm sure he did have a few questions about when he first met me, but he's never gotten round to asking me anything about my life outside the Walls. Has he just forgotten that or is he blindly ignoring it for a reason? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although I didn't make any promises to him about divulging my secrets, he keeps me at arms length. I'm not sure if that's from the fear of attachment or the fear of finding out the truth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He's never shown any other emotions to me, other than his display of sheer knowledge and helping to keep casualties to a minimum. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But how can I give my heart to a guy who won't reciprocate my feelings? </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>When dawn broke across the sky, I was busy getting dressed and sorting out my uniform. I would imagine that by leaving Headquarters, every one of my comrades would be heartbroken if I was wound up dead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I tied my hair back into a ponytail and glanced at my reflection once more in the mirror before departing my little room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trost was crowded, and the locals were certainly not shy in keeping their opinions to themselves. They were loud about it and so were the Garrison. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I walked out into the courtyard and saw people queuing up for rations. There was one girl I saw with blonde hair that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and I had a small feeling why that just happened. This doesn't happen for just any reason!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'She was a Titan Shifter!'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I figured she would be no real threat to me at this current situation, so I was basically assuming that she, with her friends, had smuggled into the Walls through the pandemonium. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A loud smack echoed across the square and I spun round on the spot, spotting a Garrison soldier standing over Eren. Mikasa and Armin were standing close by and my feet had control of my body. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I walked up behind and yelled, "Excuse me, soldier! But what do you think you're doing?!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spun around on the spot, his hardened face changed instantaneously. His hateful expression morphed into fear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I-I-I-" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I laid into him and scolded that imbecile , "You are a soldier. A proud member of the Garrison. You do not go round hitting kids! Especially someone who is related to me, a high ranking Captain of the Survey Corps!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This small stunt blew into something big because everyone had their eyes on me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked to them and then back to the soldier, "These people around you have lost family. They have seen the wrath of the Titans and they're now here in a place where they're being treated really shit by you guys! Be a proper soldier and give them aid!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked sheepishly at me and I clasped my hand onto Eren's shoulder, pushing him away from the situation. I could see Mikasa and Armin following behind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Auntie Sophia! What are you doing here?!", Eren exclaimed before tightly squeezing my stomach. He's busy hugging me while both Armin and Mikasa jumped in, having a massive group hug. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once we broke off our tender moment, Eren looked emotional and Mikasa looked unfazed as she usually does. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren glanced around and turned to me, "Auntie Sophia, where's Dad?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I paused for a moment, wondering how to answer this question, and then I sighed, "Eren, your Dad is still working in the Interior. I don't know how long he will be, but I had to leave earlier as I had to do some runs with my team."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded slowly and Armin looked pensive, before I could say anything, I saw his grandfather walking over slowly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His grandfather lowered his head, and took off his hat, "Sophia, it's good to see you alive and well." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smiled at him, "Same to you. Please look after the kids for me. I have to go back to Headquarters and check in." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I knelt down in front of Eren and looked at Mikasa and Armin, "I'm sure you kids will be motivated even harder now to join the Training Corps after the recent events. I'm always here for you, a letter away, if you need me. If you need any advice at all, I'm here" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that, I stood up and walked away. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>I knew it was hard for me to do that, but I knew that Eren was so motivated by his urge to kill Titans that he has to go through the Training Corps to then join me in the Survey Corps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I couldn't have remained behind and became a mother to them, because I've never had my own kids or had to look after kids before. I've always been independent and done my own thing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I jumped from the horse and sighed in relief, soothing my arse from the ride. I leaned backwards, stretching my muscles, before pushing my body forwards. I held the reins in my hand and looped her up with all the other horses in the stable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I walked towards the building and I could see Hanji slide across the courtyard before jumping at me. She held me in a firm hug before shaking me constantly, "Sophia, were you there?! Did you see that big beauty?!". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Section Leader Hanji! Please let go of your fellow Captain", Moblit voiced from behind and I was soon released from her firm grip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I brushed the sleeves from where her hands were and I could only shake my head at her antics. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I held up my hand close to her face, "Hanji, I don't mind answering your questions, but I've just arrived back. I could do with a shower and not smell so shitty, and then have something to eat. I haven't ate in twenty four hours"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that point my stomach rumbled and Hanji nodded, Moblit dragging her away, no doubt it would be either back to her research or to fix up some food for myself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Going through the familiar halls, I stepped in front of the familiar door and paused before opening and shutting the door. I pulled the tie from my hair, letting it cascade past my shoulders and headed in the direction of my own personal quarters before beginning to remove my clothes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I turned the valve several times and before water gushed out of the showerhead. I held my hand out and kept testing to see when it would be warm enough for me to jump in. It was about scalding temperatures when I jumped in, and I scrubbed my body with soap, trying to block all my thoughts on the past twenty four hours. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I paused and stood there under the hot water for some time, not only just thinking about the Outside World but also with the Titan Shifters. From what that girl looked like, she looked like the same age as Eren. While Eren doesn't know what's going to happen to him, she knows everything and she's been trained by them to use her Powers. I don't know if I'd even get to train Eren. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was a bad idea leaving Eren alone and going through his Training Corps. What if he transformed during then? What then?! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sophia? Is that you back?", I hear Erwin's voice coming from my office. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm quick to turn the valve off and wrap myself in a towel, adjusting it so it sits modest, before facing the Commander. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This isn't the first time he's been close to walking in on me like this, and the roles have been switched, with him being close to near misses from me. We're constantly dancing around each other that he's never acknowledged my feelings or even if he did, he would be too centered on the fact that people die a lot and he doesn't want any attachments. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I poke my head through the open gap from my personal space into the office and see Commander Erwin sit on the sofa. He lifts his head and once he sees me slightly indecent, he looks away. I see his cheeks redden slightly and I try my best not to giggle at his reaction. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Apologies Commander for my indecency, but when I first arrived back in Headquarters I was in dire need of a wash. I'll be ready in a few minutes, if you're happy to wait", I say in a flirty tone and I can hear Erwin chuckle from the other side of the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm quick to pull on undergarments, a long green skirt and a white blouse. I tie my hair back into a plait and slip on some flat shoes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin glances up and his expression changes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm glad to see you back home alive and with no scratches. I knew that one of my best soldiers was still alive", Erwin complimented me when I shifted to sit down on the sofa facing him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I can't say the same for my family Erwin. Grisha disappeared into the Inner City mere hours before the attack, and a Titan ate Carla. Debris from the wall crushed the house and her inside, if she did survive she could barely walk. The kids are alive, but they're traumatised", I spoke solemnly with my head lowered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin leans forward, his hand brushes against my cheek and his thumb wipes away a stray tear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm trying so hard not to cry, but I've been pushing my emotions away that they've come back to strike me like a sharp bullet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Being so close to Erwin like this is such a rare opportunity because he never lowers his defences like this and shows off his vulnerability. I'm sure that he is a private man who shows his emotions in a different way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I lean my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around him. His arms shift to wrap around me, and the warmth from his body so close to mine makes my skin prickle with heat. I'm trying not to think of the close intimate moment I'm having with my Commander, but he's just here to hear what has happened and help me through the grieving process. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn't stop me from the barrage of tears that fall from my face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grisha's face remains in my head and all I can picture is how I've let him down. I've let Eren down and left him to do his own thing. Carla would've cursed me for doing so, but I knew that with the capability of Mikasa, I'm sure that Eren will survive anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin's lips brush against my forehead in a soft kiss, and I'm quick to react. I don't jerk up or away from him. I don't reject him at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, I feel myself wanting to be even closer to Erwin and have his lips on mine. My head lifts from his shoulder and his brilliant blue eyes gaze into mine. There is barely little space between the two of us, and yet, the tension in this room is increasing tenfold. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door burst open and I quickly shifted myself away from Erwin, smoothing my skirt slowly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanji stands in the door frame with a large grin, "Food is ready Sophia! But it seems like you're about to consume a full meal!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'</span>
  <em>
    <span>Damn you Hanji, and your awful timing!!'</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Eyo! <br/>Work has been dragging me down the past two weeks and I've been so busy that my days off have been for resting. But I'm still alive and fighting! <br/>I'm here, back with a new chapter, so leave a kudos and a comment!<br/>Also since I've began picking this story up, in over the space of a month I've seen 500+ hits! Guys, this is making me feel emotional!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hanji's quick disappearance sliced through the heightened tension within the room, and snapped us back to reality. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Holy shit I almost kissed the Commander!' </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin cleared his throat, which broke me out of my lucid thoughts, and his hands straightened down his jacket and pants. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You'd best head down to dinner before Hanji gets even more impatient", Erwin instructed before he stood outside the room. No doubt he would be crawling back to his own office to continue on working, although I was trying my best not to think about how close we were and how his arms felt around me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I saluted him as he was walking away and buried my head into the arm of the sofa. I wanted to get rid of these warm thoughts of Erwin, and I quickly jumped out of my reverie to head down to the Mess Hall. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If there was any woman who provides an excellent distraction, it would be Hanji and her constant discussions of Titans. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>I sat down and welcomed the bowl of stew that awaited me. Hanji handed me a cup of tea and Moblit sat down next to her, I nodded to them both as I took a sip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I glanced around and noticed that we were the only people in the Mess Hall. It made me feel peaceful and happy, knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with even more inquisitive people. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I ate my stew in silence and I could feel that Hanji was wanting to start a conversation but with the presence of Moblit, she didn't want to be too nosy. Or they were just politely waiting until I finished my food so I didn't have to discuss the gory details while I'm midway through my stew. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I pushed my bowl to the side and cradled the tea in my hands, basking in the warmth before I focused on the people in front, "So, Hanji, what do you want to know?". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanji glanced at Moblit who leaned down close to him and brought out some parchment and ink, which then she grinned widely at me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So Sophia, what happened yesterday? Were you there to witness the massive Titan?!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I pondered for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts together, before shaking my head at her, "No Hanji. I wasn't there. As soon as I got home to have a catch up with family, Grisha was just about to depart for the ferry. He asked me if I could aid him, and from my most basic medical practice, I thought I could help. I don't know who he was visiting but midway through the journey on horseback, I remembered that Eren had wanted to ask me something about the Survey Corps. As a kid he's always been so curious, and he wants to go outside the Walls and fight Titans. By the time I got to Trost that's when all the evacuees landed from the ferry. When I asked what happened, they said that a 60ft Titan kicked down the gate and the debris flew everywhere from smashing houses to flattening people. The Titan was red, had its hand gripped on the Wall and disappeared in the hot steam. Titans then flooded the city and everyone started to flee. When they got people onto the boats, the ground started to rumble and Wall Maria fell to a Titan that was covered with armour. The cannons don't work against him."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I took a gulp of tea and glanced at Moblit who was busy scribbling down notes and continued on with my tale, "I found the kids in Trost and they said that the house got crushed by the debris. Carla was stuck and her legs were broken, they were trying to rescue her when a Titan approached. Hannes, a good friend of the family and a member of the Garrison, was going to fight the Titan but he stopped, turned round, picked up the kids and ran like hell. Once everyone arrived in Trost, they all bunkered down in one of the abandoned food sheds. I woke Eren up to talk to him but Grisha had arrived and he swiftly took Eren into the woods. I don't know what happened, but when Keith and I heard a rumble, we both ran off and found Eren on his own. I figured Grisha must have said something to Eren and he himself ran off"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I finished off the rest of my tea and that's when the noise started to pick up. Soldiers were coming through and their laughter and cries could be heard through our silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moblit picked up the papers and left the table, leaving me alone with Hanji. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanji leaned forwards with her hands under her head and she looked so creepy with her massive eyes, "Say Sophia, you and the Commander looked pretty close. Is there something going on between the two of you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I laughed, picking up my dishes, and retorted, "Nothing happened between the two of us because you interrupted us. Plus my sex life has got nothing to do with you!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As I was walking away from her, I accidentally brushed against another soldier, quickly apologised to them and shuffled away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Captain!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My eyes glanced towards the sound and I could see my team walking towards me. They saluted and sat down at a table with their food. All of them were curious with their gazes but I could sense that they had no idea how to start the conversation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We were nicknamed Team S because everybody's names began with the letter S. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spencer Kerr, Silas Grayson, Susie Farrish, and Savannah Moore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>These four became part of my team once I got promoted three years ago. We were nearly all part of the same training regime except for Savannah who joined the Survey Corps a few years later. Out of everyone, I feel like I get on well with her the most. She grew up in Mitras and wanted a change of scenery from the stuffy city. She first pretended to be someone that she wasn't, and that was the first thing that we spoke about. Since then, she's grown in confidence and as I arranged my team, she became the Assistant Leader. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of them have grown in confidence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gone was the shy Spencer. Now standing at 6'4 with his buff built, shaggy brown hair and an impressive beard, we laughed at how him and Mike could be related. The joke was on us as they were distant cousins. He's slowly joining ranks on being in the Top 10 attractive guys in the Survey Corps. Hanji and Susie made that list. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silas is the opposite to Spencer, with his slim build and short dark hair. Standing at 5'11, Silas sometimes lacks intuitive skills and doesn't always like socialising with others. His blue eyes hid behind glasses and his jawline was very well defined. Susie agreed that he would secretly be an attractive man underneath all those clothes. Ew. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Susie is the shortest of the group standing at 5'4 and is easily the most sociable within the Team. Her red curls and her green eyes with her curvy body made her eye candy of the group. I'm sure that I've caught her and Spencer behind the sheds, but they've never confirmed anything about their relationship. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The one that has more secrets than myself is Savannah. She was somebody that you wouldn't cross at all, even if you did get on her good side. I guessed that she lied on her entrance and gave a false name to us, because when I've searched for her name nothing has appeared. She could be running from someone or something, but I never wanted to push. She knows that my door is open if she needs to talk. Her long blonde hair is always tied back and paired with bright blue eyes, both her and Susie were found to be the most attractive women within the Corps. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Susie lept from her seat and ran up to me first, embracing me in a tight hug and everyone then crammed in for a large group hug. I felt like I couldn't breathe because I felt like I was being suffocated by Spencer's large arms. They meant so much to me and respected me as their Captain and as a friend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once the hug broke off, we all sat down at the table and Silas began eating silently. Spencer and Savannah kept glancing between their food and myself, but Susie didn't touch her food at all. She looked very eager to ask me so many questions. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spencer smiled towards me, "I'm glad to see you're well Captain. We were so worried about you when we heard the news about Wall Maria!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Susie nudged her elbow at me, "But you're alive and well, which is the main thing!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smiled softly, "I'm glad too. I'm just really worried about the kids losing both their parents and channeling their grief through the determination to make it into the Training Corps". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They nodded in unison and out of the corner of my eye I could see Hanji returning back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh boy. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey Sophia! Commander Smith has requested you to see him in his office! Probably for a repeat of earlier!", she yelled while wiggling her eyebrows at me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The whole mess hall became silent and I wanted to curse Hanji for shouting out loud that part. Seriously, my sex life has got nothing to do with anyone!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smirked and stepped forward, letting my fingers gently brush away her fringe, and I could hear the men silently hold their breath. Two women being so close, I could imagine the fantasies they could be running in their heads.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I spoke softly, whispering my words into her ear, "Oh Hanji, if you wanted a repeat of earlier I'm sure that we could accommodate your needs as well. I know that it does get lonely, but my bed is always open for you too".</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She began spluttering and her face became redder by the second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I laughed and started walking towards the door before pausing, turning back to Hanji and winked, "You know where I am if you need me!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The chatter began to rise within the hall and once I stepped out, I felt like I could breathe. I had no idea how long I'd been holding my breath and where that confidence came from. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But I knew that I would be troublesome if I kept the Commander waiting for some time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'I wonder what he wanted?'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>I saluted Erwin, standing in front of his desk while waiting for a command of somesorts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He scribbled down something before focusing his attention on me. He waved to the empty chair and I nodded, swiftly occupying the chair. I glanced at him before looking around the office, before returning my attention to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed loudly, which attracted me out of my thoughts, and his gaze felt like it pierced through my soul. It was that deep and sharp, just like his tone, "You are my subordinate Captain Jaeger. There cannot be any relationship between the two of us, do you understand?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt like the Gods were squeezing my heart too hard and the pain was becoming too unbearable to cope. I wanted to take a deep breath but it felt like something was stopping me from doing so. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It hurt. Badly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I quickly shot to my feet and my hands slammed onto his desk, "We have no control over the way we die Commander. We could die tomorrow, perhaps the next Expedition, but it's important that we make the most of our lives. So what if I'm your subordinate, and I don't care if I'm overstepping boundaries Erwin, but how can you live your life without that feeling of being loved? How can you be so focused on your duty as Commander that you fail to see the actual human lives you sacrifice? They have loved ones too you know, so just because you feel that you push away any relationship possible doesn't give you the right to dismiss my feelings like so"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked at him through my watery eyes, realising how I've made the situation a lot worse, and quickly ran out of the office. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I needed to get away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I needed him out of my head. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh my! <br/>Time has seriously ran away from me recently with the amount of work I've been doing and the little me time I've been having. <br/>Restrictions are slowly easing here in the UK and things are getting back to normal. <br/>I also gained a boyfriend! ^^<br/>But thank you, seriously thank you to everyone who has read and smashed that kudos button. We've reached over 1,000 hits and 50 kudos on POTP! I love you all! 💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After ten constant minutes of solid running, I had to stop and lean against a tree trunk. I was wheezing and it felt like I grew a stitch in my side from my intense getaway. I was not used to running like that and it's been years since I've had to bolt like that in the field. I know now to start running again turning the training sessions rather than solely focusing on hand to hand combat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I didn't know what came over me and why I felt so worked up over Erwin's words. Maybe it was his attitude and him being a mortal got me so wound up. Perhaps it was because of the fact that I've lived silently for two millennia and hated seeing all the bloodshed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was because he rejected me and it really did feel like my heart was breaking. Out of the many lives I've lived, I've never faced rejection and always politely told other suitors the time wasn't right. I knew deep in my heart that I was craving the love I deserved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I glanced up, watching the full moon peak from behind the clouds and noticing the small shimmers of stars in the sky. It looked so pretty and serene, and when I turned around, I realised how far I ran from Headquarters. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I shivered and wrapped my arms around my body, not even realising how cold the night was. I was too focused on the adrenaline and the urge to keep running to even think about the cold weather. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My head was all over the place, my thoughts and feelings and I felt myself spinning around and around on the spot. I thought I could see a small figure standing in the distance, but even as I tried hard to squint to focus more, I could feel myself losing consciousness by the second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darkness quickly consumed my mind and I collapsed onto the cold ground.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>My eyes flickered open and I immediately felt confused and anxious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn't dark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This wasn't anywhere near Headquarters. This didn't even look like anything within the Walls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was surrounded by sand. My hands ran through the ground and I watched the sand trickle through my fingers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Why in Maria's name is sand here?! Where am I?!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I looked up and the sky before me was different from the one I watched moments before. There were more stars in the sky than usual and there were small, thin lines weaving through the sky and focusing all on one point right in front of me, as if it formed into a massive tree and the centre being its root. It looked so alive with the way it moved on its own. The brightness from the root there was too strong for me to handle and I had to squint my eyes, straining my sight through a small gap in my open hand to find an answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The brightness dimmed down gently and I could see the small figure from before standing with their back to me, they appeared to be consumed by the magical tree. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As I kept taking steps closer and closer to the figure, my mind became clearer and clearer by the second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'So this is…!'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The figure turned round slowly and it was as if she hadn't aged a day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smiled as I approached her, "I believe I'm 2000 years late. It's nice to see you Ymir" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she looked at me, her eyes widened and her mouth curved into a smile, "Sophia… it's really you!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned her back to me and stood watching the tree, "Two thousand years ago it was this tree that shaped me into being. Two thousand years ago I became a Titan and that's when it all started"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I wanted to speak, to say something, but it felt like my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. I felt sharp pains in my stomach and I collapsed onto my knees, with my arms wrapped around me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I waited two thousand years for someone and now both you and the Founding Titan are alive" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Alive?!'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I know you have longed for this Sophia, but it's now time. Time for you to awaken" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Awaken?! Now?! What?!'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pain was slowly easing from my stomach and my vision was getting blurry each second longer. I leapt forward and wrapped Ymir in a tight embrace, whispering in her ear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You've never been alone Ymir. I have waited for you too. You're not trapped. You're not a slave any longer, you can do things of your own free will" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Free will" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her surprised voice echoed those words around me, and they kept ringing out in my ears as I collapsed to the floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sophia!" </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>My eyes snapped open at the sound of my name, and I immediately rolled to my side, completely emptying the contents of my stomach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I faintly heard gasps, grumbling and the iconic 'tch' all around me. I sat up slowly, pushing myself to lean my body against the pillows. It slowly grew on me that I was stuck in the Medical Bay and Hanji, Mike and Levi stood around me with Erwin leaning against the wall. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi looked at me and it was as if looks could kill. I glanced over the bed and winced, just seeing that I had vomited over his boots. If I wasn't in the Medical Bay, I would be yelled at by him, he would probably want me to clear that up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I had no recollection of what happened after I passed out. I knew I fainted, but why?</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>I peeked under the blanket that covered my whole body and realised that I was not in the same clothes as I was wearing before. That began to ring some alarm bells in my head, making me wonder what actually happened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanji leaned forward, her hand placed against my forehand, and she looked to be assessing me. Her finger interrupted my gaze as she asked me to follow it with my eyes. I kept myself focused and watched her while she ran a few tests. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike sniffed, raised an eyebrow and began muttering to himself. Levi was quick to pull out his cloth and started cleaning his boots. Erwin remained seated but Hanji kept fluttering around me, and her constant movement made me feel uneasy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You gave us all quite the fright Sophia. What happened to make you feel like this?", she asked as she handed me a glass of water. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I sipped the water tentatively before sitting it on the table next to the bed. I closed my eyes, immediately thought of Erwin, and glanced up to Hanji, "I'm not sure Hanji. I wasn't feeling right and needed some fresh air. I can't remember what happened next before waking up here in this bed". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanji looked to Erwin and then back to myself, "Sophia, there were eyewitnesses who saw you run away from Erwin's office. We had no idea where you were until we found you several metres away from Headquarters collapsed and soaked to the bone. We have no idea how long you've been out for, but it's clear that you have a case of hypothermia"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I nodded slowly and took another gulp of water, not wanting to meet her inquisitive gaze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hanji smiled and her fingers pushed my forced expression to make me smile, "At least there were no Titans to kill you. But then again, they never seem to recognize you, which is weird. Keep wrapped up and drink plenty of water. I'll come and see you in the morning!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I nodded slowly, picking up the blanket, rolling onto my side and wrapped myself into a warm cocoon. While Levi, Mike and Hanji left, Erwin remained. He shifted himself from leaning against the wall to sitting on the chair in front of me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I could feel his eyes on me and yet I couldn't see any anger in him. I sensed sadness instead. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>"Sophia, I feel it is only fair that I apologise for my words earlier. I must admit that it's tough to have a working relationship within the Survey Corps when the survival rate is 30%", he began and I could feel that he was only telling myself a small inkling of the truth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When I looked at him, he seemed to have been thinking of another woman. A woman who he was previously interested in, before another Commander stole her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I shook my head slowly, "No Commander, it's not just that. Your feelings still seem to be focused on Marie even though she is Nile's now. What happened in the past, happened. You deserve to let her go and find someone new" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow at me and his hand shifted from his side to rest under his chin, "That is a very strange coincidence to talk about Marie when she just partially crossed my mind. You have always seemed to know things that you shouldn't Sophia, could that perhaps you can read minds?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Read minds? Is he for real?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stopped to ponder his words and the accuracy of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Perhaps there could be some sort of telepathic power I possess, otherwise how could the hairs on my neck rise when other Shifters are nearby? Or maybe those throbbing headaches I seem to feel when they are close?'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'It certainly could well be a power that I've always possessed, otherwise how could I have known the easy patterns of that Officer before I lured him and killed him before I joined with Krueger?'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I laughed a little before adjusting the blanket to lie on my back, "That sounds a bit extreme Commander. I would never have pegged you, a man interested in fairy tales! But then again, you always were heavily interested in those sort of things. I can imagine that all changed when you lost your Father" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smirked and leaned forward, "Its a strange thing Sophia. I can remember every conversation I've had with you, and I have never mentioned anything about my Father before. What's strange is that I only just thought of him there in passing"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I glanced away from him and felt the hairs raise along my neck, "Then, what do you want to do with me Commander? What do you hope to achieve with my newfound ability Erwin? I don't like the idea running through your head and I don't want to be pushing myself into things that I want nothing to do with."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head and his hand briefly grazed against mine, causing sparks to light up within my heart. It made my heart beat faster and all I could think was feeling his lips on mine, craving his hands around my waist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sophia, I understand and I am sorry for thinking that. I would never push you to do something outside of your comfort zone. You are a valuable and special Captain in the Survey Corps that I couldn't possibly waste your potential in another squad or some life or death misson. You've continuously shown time and time again how capable you are fighting against Titans. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be here. Hanji, Levi, Mike, even myself, we wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I'm proud to have you as one of my Captains"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I bit my lip and lowered my gaze, "Even though I haven't told you everything?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow and I continued on, "For the past 13 years Erwin you've never asked me anything about That Day. I'm not sure if you are respecting my privacy in that matter, but I know myself that I will have to open that door in the near future. There are Titan Shifters here within the Walls and I fear the worst, Erwin. I know the truth, I know everything, but I'm afraid of the cost of it. I feel ashamed to call myself a Captain because I knew I could better to protect everyone and tell the truth from the start. But as you know, with what happened to your Father, I don't want that to happen to me. I'm sure you can understand that"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin sat in silence, processing every word I just said. I could feel the disappointment rolling off him in waves and it struck me like lightning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stood up suddenly, removed his hand from mine as if he flinched from the contact, and quickly left the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I closed my eyes and shook my head in denial. Standing outside the door Hanji and she looked very concerned. Her wide eyes took in Erwin's retreating form, and saw me, a depressed woman who lost her one chance at love. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I just wanted the freedom to do my own thing, or even say the right words without fearing for my own death. I've always been looking out for myself, and now I feel like I can't do that any longer. I've got to protect him. I've got to help Eren.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
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